Friday, August 5, 2011

Bad Idea Youth Ministry: Recruiting Volunteers

Face it. The hardest thing to do in ministry is recruit. This is especially challenging for me because, for whatever reason, there are, like, no young singles in my church. The natural recruiting field is very limited for me, so I have been forced to get creative.

With that said, here are my Bad Ideas for Recruiting Volunteers:

  • Lock sanctuary doors before anyone can leave after the service on Sunday morning. In a loud, commanding voice, bellow, "Nobody leaves until my middle school ministry is fully-staffed!"
  • Catch a parishioner buying a little too much alcohol at the grocery store? Know someone skipping church to go fishing a little too often? One word for you: Extortion.
  • Work out a deal with your local penitentiary for a prisoner work-release program. This might actually scare some parents into volunteering, too, so, win-win.
  • As soon as the technology becomes available: Inception.
  • Until Inception becomes available: Hypnosis.
  • Step 1: Kidnap parishioner's dog. Step 2: Send them photo of said dog with note reading, "Want to see Fluffy alive again? Then volunteer to chaperone the winter retreat!"
  • Call a recruit at 3 am every night until they agree to volunteer for your ministry.
Those are my bad ideas. What are your good ideas for recruiting volunteers?

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