With that said, here are my Bad Ideas for Recruiting Volunteers:
- Lock sanctuary doors before anyone can leave after the service on Sunday morning. In a loud, commanding voice, bellow, "Nobody leaves until my middle school ministry is fully-staffed!"
- Catch a parishioner buying a little too much alcohol at the grocery store? Know someone skipping church to go fishing a little too often? One word for you: Extortion.
- Work out a deal with your local penitentiary for a prisoner work-release program. This might actually scare some parents into volunteering, too, so, win-win.
- As soon as the technology becomes available: Inception.
- Until Inception becomes available: Hypnosis.
- Step 1: Kidnap parishioner's dog. Step 2: Send them photo of said dog with note reading, "Want to see Fluffy alive again? Then volunteer to chaperone the winter retreat!"
- Call a recruit at 3 am every night until they agree to volunteer for your ministry.