In this feature, I will discuss unlikely lessons for ministry I have learned from unlikely sources. Today, I will discuss what I have learned from ubiquitous TV chef, Gordon Ramsay.
You might know Chef Ramsay as that British guy who is always yelling on television shows like "Hell's Kitchen" and "Master Chef." I think he is on television for roughly 23.5 hours a day. In fact, I am pretty sure the CEO of Fox handed Chef Ramsay the keys to the network and said, "take care of the place while I'm gone."
I do have a particular fondness for "Hell's Kitchen." I think the attraction of the show is that Chef Ramsay finds the 16 worst humans on earth and then yells at them all summer. I know there are easier ways to find head chefs for one's restaurants. Chef is probably doing this on advice from his therapist so that he can have a productive outlet for his considerable rage.
In watching the show, I have discovered something that is somewhat useful in ministry. Chef Ramsay is a master at creating drama.
Well, not creating it so much as manipulating the circumstances so as to create an environment conducive to drama. He always makes sure to keep the two people who hate each other the most working together. He always increases the pressure on his contestants to strain their emotions. He is constantly making decisions to maximize potential drama.
Now, obviously, this is being done to increase conflict so as to increase ratings. However, there can be good that could come out of manipulating situations to produce conflict and tension and drama in youth ministry.
What Ramsay has discovered is that there is always drama to be found when you put 16 people in a competition against each other, then require them to work together. They are simultaneously working for and against each other. Of course people are going to snap on each other.
In ministry, we are always working with people who are fallen, who have struggles and insecurities, and can be very sensitive. Of course there is going to be drama in youth ministry. But is that a bad thing? Should youth workers try to minimize drama or exploit drama for the purpose of helping people grow?
I would argue that it is good to allow drama to take place in your youth ministry. It is good to have conflict among students in your ministry. It is good to deal with hurt feelings, damaged egos, and emotional wounds in youth ministry. And it could be a good thing to draw that drama into the open where it can be dealt with.
For one, your ministry can be a safe place for it to happen. All of your students are going to run into drama and conflict at some point. In your ministry, at least you have the possibility of controlling it. You can help people work out conflict in a gentle, Christ-like manner, and, in the process, teach them how to handle conflict and drama on their own. Should gossip or lying occur, you have a real-life instance of the damage things like that can cause.
Two, conflict can lead to good discussion. This could be a theological dispute, this could be a dispute over the proper lifestyle of a Christ-follower, this could be a relational conflict. Presenting students with two options of a debate from which to choose and making them pick one, or having students identify their positions along a continuum, or placing students who typically don't get along in a small group together are good ways of provoking some conflict with the intention of producing a life-changing discussion and dialogue. You can teach students to respect people who disagree with them. You can teach students the value of not making every disagreement personal. You can help them live with some tension, which, as most adults know, is a very valuable thing to learn to do. And you can help them sort through their emotions and maybe even discover reason and rational thought behind the discussion. They can learn from each other, learn to listen and understand people they disagree with, and all in a relatively safe environment.
Three, it's better to have it all out in the open where it can be dealt with than simmering below the surface. Apply some gentle pastoral pressure to a situation so we can get it all out in the open beyond sideways-glares and passive-aggressive remarks. Bring the conflict that already exists into the open where those involved can work it out before it comes out on its own (and this is never preferred).
Now, as a guy, I am wired to run away from drama. I like low-maintenance when it comes to relationships. I am not one to instigate drama or conflict. But in working with youth, I have found that it is often better to help that conflict come to light than watch it slowly grow underneath the surface. It's OK to draw that conflict out; the sooner it comes out, the better off everyone will be. And hopefully, you've taught the students involved how to deal with conflict on their own from now on.
I think there is room for disagreement here, and I am sure there are angles to this that both support my theory and disagree with my theory that I am missing. This idea is still very embryonic in my thinking at this point. I hope to have fully formed thoughts about this concept eventually. Probably when I am ready to retire.
Showing posts with label Youth Ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Youth Ministry. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Brainstorm: Summer Missions
In the "Brainstorm" category on this blog, I will share some ideas that I have stumbled across that demonstrated some success and could potentially be replicated by you. I don't promise anything earth-shattering here, and by no means do I claim to have original ideas. These are just things that I have found to be good in ministry.
Summer missions can be a somewhat tricky subject. Often, the benefit is solely for the students participating, especially with some of the more poorly-run youth missions organizations. It ends up being very expensive, very time-consuming discipleship ministry for your kids. Missions trips can be a waste of time, money, and effort if you are not too careful.
But let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Missions trips CAN be a good thing, both for the participants and those they are serving. While youth missions organizations can be great (I worked for a summer for YouthWorks!; they are good at what they do), one idea I stumbled upon this past year was to partner with a church plant within my denomination and partner with them in their on-going mission work in their community. My church is in a fairly prosperous region of New England, and our partner church for this week was doing some awesome mission work in a poorer city in New England. We only had to drive an hour and a half away to serve for a week in a design-it-yourself missions trip. We helped out at a center for disabled children, a homeless shelter, helped rehab a community center and garden, and put on an afternoon fun camp for the children in the neighborhood. Everything we did was something the church plant did already; we just brought more workers and more energy than they were used to. We had a great impact on the community and helped make a better name for our partner church in that community.
By essentially doing the trip on our own and not using an organization, by staying close to home, we were able to do this week-long missions trip for well under $200 per student. But the financial benefit was not the only one:
1) Because it was so close to home, and because we partnered with a church with whom we already have close ties, students were able to dream about what they could CONTINUE to do for the people in that community beyond just the one week.
2) Because it was so close to home, students were able to better see that they didn't need to travel far away to do mission work, and they were able to see better that their own hometown and surrounding areas were a mission field.
3) We didn't have to do a lot of fundraising. People didn't get sick of us asking for money. Trust me, this is a good thing when the youth ministry doesn't become known as the group always looking for a handout. Most families paid for the trip out of pocket. Plus, a lot of money was saved because we didn't fly or drive across country. We based our decision based on what was the best mission for us, not the most interesting location.
4) It will be easy to form a long-term, on-going relationship with this mission field. We can easily come back next summer, or even spin it off into a family mission trip. We can take day trips up there and do something positive for the community. The mission won't die once all the kids are back from the trip.
So this is something that has worked for my group and I think it could be something worth looking into for most youth groups. There are certainly quite a few benefits to going through a youth missions organization, but partnering with a fellow church and forming on-going relationships with people in the context of mission is a worthwhile way of doing summer missions with youth.
Summer missions can be a somewhat tricky subject. Often, the benefit is solely for the students participating, especially with some of the more poorly-run youth missions organizations. It ends up being very expensive, very time-consuming discipleship ministry for your kids. Missions trips can be a waste of time, money, and effort if you are not too careful.
But let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Missions trips CAN be a good thing, both for the participants and those they are serving. While youth missions organizations can be great (I worked for a summer for YouthWorks!; they are good at what they do), one idea I stumbled upon this past year was to partner with a church plant within my denomination and partner with them in their on-going mission work in their community. My church is in a fairly prosperous region of New England, and our partner church for this week was doing some awesome mission work in a poorer city in New England. We only had to drive an hour and a half away to serve for a week in a design-it-yourself missions trip. We helped out at a center for disabled children, a homeless shelter, helped rehab a community center and garden, and put on an afternoon fun camp for the children in the neighborhood. Everything we did was something the church plant did already; we just brought more workers and more energy than they were used to. We had a great impact on the community and helped make a better name for our partner church in that community.
By essentially doing the trip on our own and not using an organization, by staying close to home, we were able to do this week-long missions trip for well under $200 per student. But the financial benefit was not the only one:
1) Because it was so close to home, and because we partnered with a church with whom we already have close ties, students were able to dream about what they could CONTINUE to do for the people in that community beyond just the one week.
2) Because it was so close to home, students were able to better see that they didn't need to travel far away to do mission work, and they were able to see better that their own hometown and surrounding areas were a mission field.
3) We didn't have to do a lot of fundraising. People didn't get sick of us asking for money. Trust me, this is a good thing when the youth ministry doesn't become known as the group always looking for a handout. Most families paid for the trip out of pocket. Plus, a lot of money was saved because we didn't fly or drive across country. We based our decision based on what was the best mission for us, not the most interesting location.
4) It will be easy to form a long-term, on-going relationship with this mission field. We can easily come back next summer, or even spin it off into a family mission trip. We can take day trips up there and do something positive for the community. The mission won't die once all the kids are back from the trip.
So this is something that has worked for my group and I think it could be something worth looking into for most youth groups. There are certainly quite a few benefits to going through a youth missions organization, but partnering with a fellow church and forming on-going relationships with people in the context of mission is a worthwhile way of doing summer missions with youth.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Bad Idea Youth Ministry: Recruiting Volunteers
Face it. The hardest thing to do in ministry is recruit. This is especially challenging for me because, for whatever reason, there are, like, no young singles in my church. The natural recruiting field is very limited for me, so I have been forced to get creative.
With that said, here are my Bad Ideas for Recruiting Volunteers:
With that said, here are my Bad Ideas for Recruiting Volunteers:
- Lock sanctuary doors before anyone can leave after the service on Sunday morning. In a loud, commanding voice, bellow, "Nobody leaves until my middle school ministry is fully-staffed!"
- Catch a parishioner buying a little too much alcohol at the grocery store? Know someone skipping church to go fishing a little too often? One word for you: Extortion.
- Work out a deal with your local penitentiary for a prisoner work-release program. This might actually scare some parents into volunteering, too, so, win-win.
- As soon as the technology becomes available: Inception.
- Until Inception becomes available: Hypnosis.
- Step 1: Kidnap parishioner's dog. Step 2: Send them photo of said dog with note reading, "Want to see Fluffy alive again? Then volunteer to chaperone the winter retreat!"
- Call a recruit at 3 am every night until they agree to volunteer for your ministry.
Throwing the Baby out with the Bathwater
A few days ago, my friend and fellow youth pastor Ryan turned me on to Divided: The Movie.
Apparently, this has been getting out there. In it, the filmmakers point out the crisis of young people leaving the Church, showing that it could be anywhere from 40-88% of teens leave the church once they are out of high school. Anyone who works in youth ministry and takes it seriously know all about those statistics.
So the filmmaker sets off on a quest to find out why teens are leaving the Church in droves and what the solution to this crisis is. They ask great questions. However...
They "know" the answers before they even begin.
What is disguised as a documentary is actually an infomercial for a group called The National Center for Family-Integrated Churches. They begin by constructing a Straw Man: that modern youth ministry is universally about fun and games with no real effort toward discipleship and led by young, hip, cool guys who call themselves youth pastors. To construct this Straw Man, they use carefully edited interviews with teens at a Christian music festival. From here, they go into their pitch, talking with the intellectuals behind the documentary who espouse their philosophy of family-integrated, father-led discipleship. They claim that for the first 1800 years of the church all education (religious and otherwise) was done in the home or as integrated family units. (This link shows otherwise.) They further argue that age-segregated ministry, including Sunday School and youth ministry, are pagan, Darwinian, and antithetical to the teachings of Scripture.
They argue that to end the rapid exodus of young people from the Church, age-segregated ministry should be abandoned and churches, in order to be faithful to God and Scriptures, must use family-integrated discipleship models. In other words, modern youth ministry must be abolished.
Without going into to too much detail, here are my issues with this:
1) If you are going to be presenting the best and brightest of your side in an argument (or, better still, as a "documentary filmmaker," don't take a side), you should present the best and brightest from the other side. I am sure that there are people who believe in youth ministry that could have given a better understanding and philosophy for youth ministry than those teens at the music festival. They did interview Mark Ostreicher and Walt Mueller, but most likely ignored anything that would be antithetical to their viewpoint. But next time, why not give Doug Fields or Kara Powell or, you know, any other youth pastor in America a call. Oy.
2) Is anyone else sick of Straw Man arguments against youth ministry? Have any of these people even been to a youth group meeting before? I have never once been a part of a youth ministry that was purely attractional, purely fun and games, or purely centered around a really hip, young youth pastor. I am sure they exist, but let's take a more nuanced approach to understanding youth ministry. Blurgh.
3) Is anyone else sick of either/or dichotomies? Why is it that certain Christians can only see the world this way. My way is right, your way is wrong. Instead of abandoning all age-segregated ministries for family-integrated ministries, why not do both? Why not make youth ministry and children's ministry more family-oriented? Why not provide opportunities for both age-specific discipleship and for whole-family discipleship? Why not help equip parents for their role as primary disciple-makers and have youth pastors minister alongside of them as a supportive, secondary disciple-maker? There are already people working to get the church moving in this direction, such as Orange and the people at Fuller Youth Institute are hard at work addressing the youth exodus.
Those are my thoughts for now. For better thoughts than mine, check out:
Tim Challies
Walt Mueller
Your thoughts?
Apparently, this has been getting out there. In it, the filmmakers point out the crisis of young people leaving the Church, showing that it could be anywhere from 40-88% of teens leave the church once they are out of high school. Anyone who works in youth ministry and takes it seriously know all about those statistics.
So the filmmaker sets off on a quest to find out why teens are leaving the Church in droves and what the solution to this crisis is. They ask great questions. However...
They "know" the answers before they even begin.
What is disguised as a documentary is actually an infomercial for a group called The National Center for Family-Integrated Churches. They begin by constructing a Straw Man: that modern youth ministry is universally about fun and games with no real effort toward discipleship and led by young, hip, cool guys who call themselves youth pastors. To construct this Straw Man, they use carefully edited interviews with teens at a Christian music festival. From here, they go into their pitch, talking with the intellectuals behind the documentary who espouse their philosophy of family-integrated, father-led discipleship. They claim that for the first 1800 years of the church all education (religious and otherwise) was done in the home or as integrated family units. (This link shows otherwise.) They further argue that age-segregated ministry, including Sunday School and youth ministry, are pagan, Darwinian, and antithetical to the teachings of Scripture.
They argue that to end the rapid exodus of young people from the Church, age-segregated ministry should be abandoned and churches, in order to be faithful to God and Scriptures, must use family-integrated discipleship models. In other words, modern youth ministry must be abolished.
Without going into to too much detail, here are my issues with this:
1) If you are going to be presenting the best and brightest of your side in an argument (or, better still, as a "documentary filmmaker," don't take a side), you should present the best and brightest from the other side. I am sure that there are people who believe in youth ministry that could have given a better understanding and philosophy for youth ministry than those teens at the music festival. They did interview Mark Ostreicher and Walt Mueller, but most likely ignored anything that would be antithetical to their viewpoint. But next time, why not give Doug Fields or Kara Powell or, you know, any other youth pastor in America a call. Oy.
2) Is anyone else sick of Straw Man arguments against youth ministry? Have any of these people even been to a youth group meeting before? I have never once been a part of a youth ministry that was purely attractional, purely fun and games, or purely centered around a really hip, young youth pastor. I am sure they exist, but let's take a more nuanced approach to understanding youth ministry. Blurgh.
3) Is anyone else sick of either/or dichotomies? Why is it that certain Christians can only see the world this way. My way is right, your way is wrong. Instead of abandoning all age-segregated ministries for family-integrated ministries, why not do both? Why not make youth ministry and children's ministry more family-oriented? Why not provide opportunities for both age-specific discipleship and for whole-family discipleship? Why not help equip parents for their role as primary disciple-makers and have youth pastors minister alongside of them as a supportive, secondary disciple-maker? There are already people working to get the church moving in this direction, such as Orange and the people at Fuller Youth Institute are hard at work addressing the youth exodus.
Those are my thoughts for now. For better thoughts than mine, check out:
Tim Challies
Walt Mueller
Your thoughts?
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Welcome to "Youth Ministry in Progress"
Welcome to my new blog, Youth Ministry in Progress.
Don't come expecting expertise. You won't find it here. Don't come expecting the cure-all to your youth ministry problems. You won't find it. Don't come expecting revolutionary youth ministry thinking. You might find it, but it would be here purely by accident.
However, if you are looking to learn alongside me as I grow in my youth ministry abilities, join me. If you are looking to learn from my mistakes (or contribute lessons learned from your own), this is the place for you. If you are on the journey of youth ministry and need a partner for the ride, you have come to the right place.
I don't have decades of experience (or even one decade, for that matter). I don't have all the answers. I'm figuring all this stuff as I go along, and passing it along to you for the low, low price of absolutely nothing.
I am in progress. So is my ministry. Come along and see how it all turns out.
Don't come expecting expertise. You won't find it here. Don't come expecting the cure-all to your youth ministry problems. You won't find it. Don't come expecting revolutionary youth ministry thinking. You might find it, but it would be here purely by accident.
However, if you are looking to learn alongside me as I grow in my youth ministry abilities, join me. If you are looking to learn from my mistakes (or contribute lessons learned from your own), this is the place for you. If you are on the journey of youth ministry and need a partner for the ride, you have come to the right place.
I don't have decades of experience (or even one decade, for that matter). I don't have all the answers. I'm figuring all this stuff as I go along, and passing it along to you for the low, low price of absolutely nothing.
I am in progress. So is my ministry. Come along and see how it all turns out.
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